Where we Were, and What we Are
by UnkeptMind
Summary: Continuation of PFOA. No Lemon.....so far.....


Chapter 8~

Fire and hot wind blew against his face, scorching him again. It was too much to take.

With the absolute last of his chakra, he managed to move the last obstacle which threatened to destroy his village. Protecting his people before it was too late.

Once it had moved, he breathed a sigh of relief and finally passed out; chakra too drained for him to be able to move. That night, he was dragged off, to an unknown hideout, for the longest three days of his entire life.

Using combined chakra from eight highly skilled ninjas, the demon he had relied on for his whole life, with whom his life and soul were intertwined, was forcibly ripped away, in the most painful way possible. For three days, he was drained of half of himself. For three days he endured the worst kind of torture. For three days, he died.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, he felt a white void grab at him, and draw him in. Feeling himself get pulled away from his body, he watched it fall, not even able to remember that it was his own.

Several hundred miles away, a small kunoichi woke with a start, just in time to witness her small glass sculpture quiver, and turn to pure red sand.

She cupped the sand in her hands, and felt every bone in her whole body, besides her left arm, ache as if she had just fought a steam roller, and lost. With her good hand, trying to blink back the tears of pain coursing through her body, she cupped the sand to her heart. she realized in an instant what it meant, and Subake no Lily cried for the rest of the night, in too much pain to move, and in too much pain to want to do anything else.

It was several days before she dared even move a single muscle besides her good arm, and when she could the only though she had on her mind, was, "got to get to Suna,.... i got to get to Suna.... i need to get to Gaara!" with her largest feather, she used the winds to fly her with all of her speed, trying to ignore the pain she felt. she'd lived with it before, now she would again.

When she left the hospital those many years ago, she decided the pain would be a reminder, so she abandoned her pills, and left. Now, to see the person who could mean her demise, she wanted to return, even if it meant her death.

Short gasping breaths.

a quick fluttering pulse.

a body like melting ice.

Gaara opened his eyes, slowly, feeling the creaking of joints and the stiffness in his body. suddenly, he remembered._ I.... died. but,... why am I still alive?_ his vision cleared, and before him, his whole village was gathered, everyone in tears _... but...why?_

He blinked and looked around, everyone was starring at either him, or the someone to his left. looking up, first he saw Naruto, smiling, tears streaming down his face. His student asked him if he was alright, and he nodded slowly, confused.

Everyone.... cheered.... _what's going on?_

Naruto helped him sit up, and someone warned him not to move._ wait... did he just say 9 days? _he had really been dead for that long?

he looked to what naruto was looking at, and saw the old village elder, cradled in the pink girl's arms. what was her name? Sakura? why was Chiyo-baa-sama in Sakura arms? people were talking but he wasn't listening. he thought for a moment before realizing. he had been dead with absolutely no hope to revive, except for on way. a way that only Chiyo-baa-sama knew.

Subake no Gaara stood, with Naruto's help, and bowed his head in respect, "everyone,... please pray for Chiyo-baa-sama."

every head was bowed, every heart was moved, and everyone there prayed for her in heaven, or where ever she was sent to go.

The funeral was a touching moment, but Gaara couldn't find himself to cry. it wasn't that he was too tough, or 'real men don't cry' or any such nonsense. the simple fact of the matter was that he was too shocked for words. he had heard several times of the story on what happened, but no matter how many time he heard it, it still didn't make sense to him. as he recalled, she HATED him _... so why...?_

He shook his head and stood up from his desk. sighing he closed his office door and went to change into something warmer.

with nothing but sand on all sides of suna, and no water surrounding it to keep it warm during the nights, suna reached temperatures well bellow freezing. a wind shook him raising the hairs on the back of his neck. he reached a hand to the back of his neck and looked down sadly. a small feather was tangled in his hair from a bird flying by the window. he sadly looked at the white feather in his hands, and thought for a while before placing it in his pocket and walking outside. he wanted to go somewhere first.

adorned with flowers, standing in the middle of the graveyard, a single headstone stood, white Lily petals coating the ground like snow. a stature of stone was placed on top of the headstone. it was Lily, just as he had remembered her. smiling, happy, without a care in the world, not even noticing the grave she was sitting on, was her own.

He walked over and placed a hand on her head. she wasn't very tall in comparison to him now, but it didn't matter to Gaara at all, he liked her being short, he didn't know why but he just did. "hey...It's me again..."

No one moved. it was just the newly risen Kazekage, and someone he thought he loved once, but it seemed that fate wanted to watch him squirm a bit more, and through his own actions, she was crushed. he wanted to be able to see her smile again, but shortly after he was defeated by Naruto, he got the gruesome news.

It was too painful to think back to the last time he had seen her, and he could feel his heart ache again. "I'm sorry i hadn't been visiting lately.... it seems that fate wants me to suffer for just a bit longer..."

he paused for a moment, hoping she could hear him, in that same white void he, himself, experienced, only earlier this morning. he closed his eyes and hung his head down low, "Lily?...... I-I died today..."

It was a dull and uneventful night after he left Lily's grave. he simply walked back to his office, and sat back in his chair, which gave a tired 'fup', a mountain of paperwork starring him in the face. staring back at it with equal distain, he secretly knew Konkuro wouldn't be able to fulfill his job while he was away.

yes, he had grown to accept his brother and sister, dare say he, _loved _them, but he never thought a free spirit like Konkuro would really be able to sit still for such a long time, reading and re-reading paper after paper, before either signing them, or stamping them, or even having to wright something equally long and dull, himself.

Gaara rolled his eyes a little before actually looking back out that window behind his desk. it seemed so silly ; just because he noticed a bird that never usually flew in the desert sky, he had ben captured, and killed. he blinked back the memories and shook his head. he needed to get back to work, and soon.

All that night, he didn't get a single report done. he didn't sign any papers. he didn't even look past the third line of the document before him. his mind couldn't seem to concentrate at all on his set task. all he could seem to think of was the past, and the people it involved; Naruto, Konkuro, Temari, Matsori,....Lily.

Staring out the window again, he let his mind wander, having given up on everything he was supposed to do that night, just as the sun's first rays were peeking over the dunes in the distance.

Gaara rubbed his eyes, _there goes another sleepless night, _he thought to himself, look back inside his lightening office. it was just the same as ever, and any second now, Team Kakashi would be coming inside to give their report, and Temari and Konkuro would be coming along. His office would fill up fast, and it wouldn't clear out for a while.

Pinching in between his eyes, he knew the migraine would come again today.... he could hear Naruto down the hall already....

"Naruto!" he asked for the fifth time, "Please calm down.... then start again..." Gaara asked, palms pressed over his eyes as his dreaded headache began to flair up. it had taken Naruto all morning just to get so far with his report before he started talking faster and faster and faster, until it was just unintelligible shrieks of excitement.

Naruto started again, painfully slow this time, as if he wanted to piss him off, before Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder, "maybe the report should wait till later then..." he soothed, seeing how aggravated it was making the Kage. Gaara nodded his head and sighed, it was nearing the lunch hour, and any second Temari would come in asking if anyone was-_speak of the devil _he thought as Temari peeked her head in happily and did just as such.

Standing by his desk, she began to laugh and catch up with them, "so! how have things been going back in Konoha?" she asked, a certain nin in mind.

"It's alright.... you know.... same ol' same old" Kakashi supplied from the far corner while Naruto started to blabber on and on and on about how he was to become Hokage, in his usual way; loudly, quickly, and _loudly._

Gaara waved his hand to Temari so he wouldn't see from behind his papers, "Temari would you-"

He was cut off as his double doors were kicked open with such a force, it broke the oak off it's hinges and raised a puff of smoke from the floor. There stood a nin would barely looked five feet tall. There stood someone with such a blazing anger in her eyes. There stood she who was once deemed not to live.

......There stood Lily.

Sakura stared open mouthed before screaming, "LILY!!!!" before running at her, making for a hug. Lily flicked her hands in her direction with four strong feathers, pinning Sakura to the wall on one swift motion. She blinked in her surprise, but as she did Kakashi began instant hand signs, in an attempt to subdue her. With one glance and a quick flash, a solid black feather flew from it's resting place in her hair, to in between Kakashi's eyes, stopping only an inch before it hit, stopping in midair. "don't move again.... i don't miss twice..."

Kakashi stopped, wide eyed and frightened. she pulled her feather back and placed it in her hair. He nodded his head again while she walked past, stomping a little. Naruto was watching all this, unable to even make a sound in shock before he was thrown out of the way with a sweep on her arms.

She stormed past Naruto and watched an Konkuro hid behind a large chair behind the desk. Temari waved at her, smiling, "oh, hi Temari!" she said kindly, waving.

"Hi Lily! why didn't you tell me you were visiting?" she asked. Lily shook her head. it would have to wait.

Lily smiled softly before turning her head angrily, pointing an accusing finger, "YOU!!!!!"

Gaara could only blink in surprise. He thought she was dead.... _years_ ago. She had a grave, she was given flowers, she had been remembered as a loved dead girl for the past three years. yet here she stood, pointing that finger at him, a fire in her usually soft and kind blue eyes.

"WHAT has been going on around here?!" she yelled, hands now on her hips. "Your dead! WHY ARN'T YOU DEAD?!" she spun around to Temari, "why isn't he dead?!"

Temari blinked, unsure of what to do, "I-well..."

Lily started to fluster again, "I mean, WHAT THE HELL?! ANSWER ME DAMNIT! WHY aren't you DEAD?!"

He blinked, shock rendering him speechless until he was finally able to speak, "I-...I was... but...how did you know?"

She reached in her pocket and pulled out a single baggy filled with red sand. she pointed at it with an accusing finger before dropping it on his desk. he blinked at it a second, before realizing what it was. her little sculpture, the one he made for her so long ago; crumpled again to sand.

Before anyone else had time to say anything, Temari clapped her hands together, saying loudly for all to hear, "alright! everybody out!!! i think this talk should be private..." she smiled as everyone left, scooting a terrified Konkuro out before poking Lily on the shoulder. Lily looked over, all traces of anger gone, following her finger to a terrified looking Sakura, still pinned to the wall.

"oh! sorry!" she said, commanding her feathers to come back to her. she packed them away and looked back to Gaara as the door closed behind her, anger back on her face. she didn't want to have to ask again.

"w-but...you were supossed to be....dead" he said, blinking over and over in pure shock.

"DEAD?!" she yelled, "WHATEVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?!"

"but-... you were gone... i mean... you just dissapeared..."

"oh, you of all people should know; just because someone dissapears for a while, _doesn't mean their dead!_" she sighed and rolled her eyes, leaning to one side, hands on her hips in a hotty way. "now _please_! tell me what's been going on around here!"

He looked down, unsure of where to begin, "....i died..."

"WHAT?!"

"you were right.... i died... and only by the grace of Chiyo-baa-sama, am i alive...." he said, gaze shifting from Lily, down to his hands again.

Lily looked down. she knew what he was meaning; Chiyo-baara-sama, the village elder's forbiden technique. She bowed her head in respect, both sad for the loss, and thankful for her sacrifice. "i see......." she didn't want o ask it, but it seemed nessisary. "how?" she asked, all of the bite drained from her voice.

"an organization,... called the Akatsuki ,... they came and... got rid of the Shukaku..." he explained, simpily.

"soooooo.... the demon's gone?" she asked, a spark of a smile in her eyes.

"yes,...why?" he asked with a slightly worried look.

She walked around his desk slowly, fingers trailing on the strong wood, "ooooh nothing..but.... does that mean no more sand crushing if i try to love you?"

"wha-?" he started before she leaned in, placing her lips on his, sweetly. he blinked back in his suprise, she was kissing him. _she._ was _kissing_ him! he felt his breath stop, having sucked in a suprised breath before. his heart raced, his mind raced, and he could feel his stomache squirm awkwardly. his arms flailed as he pushed her away.

His hand finally connected with something and he pushed her back. noticing that something was softly squishing benith his grasp, he looked back, and noticed he had grabbed her rather large breast. he stole his hand away and a very faint blush came over his cheeks, "I'm sorry."

Lily blushed and looked away. She awkwardly laughed a little, then fell quiet.

He couldn't help but look back at her, finally noticing how much she had grown into a woman durring such a sort time. She had grown out her hair, long and soft. she was thin, and strong. her hips had widened as a woman's should, giving her a bounce when she walked, making them sway hipnotically, like only women can. and her bust had also grown out. Large, plump, juicy beasts that, now that he thought about it, even he couldn't get his hands around. he coughed away the thoughts that made him blush slightly more, before remembering his original argument.

"but you're supposed to be dead!" he finally exclaimed.

"but I'm not!" she said, a smile on her confused face.

"but yes you were!!"

"but, no I'm not...."

He shook his head, "come with me..." he stood up finally, and rose above her four feet eight inches almost a good foot. Her eyes followed his face as he stood, _oh that is just not fair, _she thought, _oh this is ALL your fault!!!!_

He blinked at her sudden anger but grabbed his gourd and headed towards the door, "come......please" he added, remembering his manners.

She sighed and marched off after him, there was no arguing, she knew.

It was a short and silent walk to the graveyard on the side of town. neither of them spoke, but both their minds were buzzing. Gaara soon came to a stop and pionted a long finger at a certian spot, surrounded by white petles, and adorned with flowers of every kind, it looked like almost the whole village could have left a flower, and there would sill be more.

She stepped over to the stone surface and placed a hand on her younger-self's head, a smile on her lips. she chuckled to herself, evolving it into a loud laugh, "I am not this short!"

He blinked at her, confustion painted on his face. he cocked his head to the side slightly, and blinked slowly, as if to say, 'but you are...'

She gared back at him slightly, like a little child, also as if to say, 'i am not this short you big ass!'

He shook his head and looked down, "I told you...."

She shook her head back at him, sighing, "And I told you...." she walked back over and placed her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her, "I'm real.... i promise..."

His heart fluttered an beat faster and faster again. he didn't know what on earth this new feeling was, but it made him feel awkward,.... but...he liked it. it was a good sort of bad...

He sighed in her grip, a sad look in his eyes. Lily smiled and leaned his head down, kissing his kanji instead of having another freak out. Gaara stood still afterwards, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Lily smiled and picked up a firey Tiger Lily, before grabing his hand and happily walking back to his office; it had gotten dark while they were there, and shops were all closing down.

She yawned as soon as the sun was down, instantly tired, just like she always was. He sighed as he walked beside her, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do. she hadn't let go of his hand, but, secretly, he didn't want her to let go. When they were just outside the doors, she finally realized she still held his hand.

an instant blush crept over her cheeks and she let go, "oh! sorry..." He pocketed his hands, shrugging, refusing to look at her, but something inside of him, wanted nothing more than to grab her close to him, kiss her all over and never let go. she came back to him. the one he thought was dead came back to him. Lily came back,...alive.

They both walked inside and Lily yawned again, rubbing her eye sleepily. Gaara nodded his head towards the left hallway, and some stairs, "come on... I'll let you stay in my room till i can get one for you ready."

"okay." she said, smiling up at him. she followed, her eyes drooping with every step she took. She saw that he opened a door for her, and she smiled, bowing her head in thanks. "I'll be right back." he said, closing the door behind him. she smiled back as he did so, before looking around the room.

It was just as every building in Suna was, except for a large glass window, leading to a balcony with the most beautiful view over Suna, Lily had ever seen. she smiled as she noticed a moon looming overhead, streaming light through the room. She smiled up at it's pale face, before shivering slightly. Contratry to what most would think, though boiling durring the day, when night falls it becomes fridgid cold because of the lack of bodies of water to keep it warm. Lily looked over to the window looking over the city, yes it was beautiful, stunning even, but it let all the cold in.

She sat on the bed, and looked out the window, thinking about how beautiful it was, not realizing that she was drifting off to sleep.

When he reentered the room, he expected her to not be there at all. he had often hallucinated that she was still alive, and yet. this time seemed so real...

He sighed, and looked around, half heartedly. when he saw her there, such a feeling rushed over him, a smile was forced onto his face. she lay, slightly shivering on top of his large king sized bed.

He quickly brushed his teeth and changed into some warm sweatpants before coming back in. He smiled, and cradled her into his arms.

He slowly removed her feathers and shoes, so she wouldn't wake, and slipped her under the covers.

Smiling, he scooped her to himself, pressing her sleeping form against his chest. He closed his eyes, stroaking her hair and whispered into her ear sweetly, "you came back,.....Lily,.....you came back to me"


End file.
